iDidn't know I loved you
by Brownsugar12
Summary: Sam is tired of being in Carly's shadow and being ignored, especialy by a nerdy tech geek who she's come to love. What will happen to Sam to make him realize how he really feels about her? R&R :
1. iDidn't see this coming

chapter 1

**Sam's POV**

_Carly's smart_

_Carly's beautiful_

_What an amazing young lady that Carly is_

_Carly's cute I wonder if she would date me?_

Everyone always talks about Carly. Guys and how they want to date her. Girls and how they want to be her. Everything somehow in this messed up universe always leads to Carly. No one ever notices me, and why would they. Lets compare.

Carly. Beautiful, smart, nice, friendly , and caring.

Sam . Ugly, stupid, mean, bully, and doesn't care.

Now you see why everyone ignores me when she's around. I have to make people notice me, so what do I do? I fight. Everyone. And yeah I'm noticed, as the girl everyone hates and they end up ignoring me even more and paying more attention to _her._ So I stopped. I don't care anymore...ok so maybe I do, but I make sure no one sees it.

The glares I shoot her way.

One time in gym I actually cut holes in her shirt to get back at her, and you know what happened? All the girls came to school the next day with their shirts cut up the same way like it was some sort of trend.

And you know what really pisses me off the most? That she has all the attention off the boy I love.

Fredward Benson. Yeah I love Freddie. I'll shout it to the world, but I doubt anyone would hear me. He always follows her around like some lost freaking puppy. Freddie always wanted to be with her. He asks her out ,she shoots him down, no problem. Carly tells him to do something, he'll do it no problem because he loves her, but when I ask him to do something it's always do it yourself Puckett, or just plain no.

We are currently in Carly's $82,000 room. Working on some iCarly stuff when Carly got up and walked to the door.

"Hey you guys want some of my special lemonade?"

"No thanks." "Gross"

"Well then none for you." She says then leaves.

It's really quiet and I'm really bored till Freducation starts talking.

"Hey Sam?" He asks.

"What?"

"Will you help me with something?" He turns to look at me with pleading eyes.

"Depends, what is it?" I sit up on Carly's bed and stare at him.

"Ok well you know how I ask Carly out and she shoots me down every time." *sigh* Of course it's always Carly.

"What about it?"

"Can you help me get a date with her? I have this great plan that'll be sure to win her over."

"Why would I help you?" I spat. Can't he see that I love him? Stupid nub.

"Come on Sam just help someone else for once in your life, be like Carly an-

"Well I'm sorry but if you haven't noticed I'm not Carly alright!" How could he say that? Be like Carly.

"Maybe if you were you wouldn't be such a bitch. It's not my fault your jealous." He mumbles probably thinking I couldn't hear. I get off the bed and walk to the door to leave.

"Well I'm sorry I can't be like your perfect little Carly and FYI I am not jealous." Lies. I walk down the stairs and out of the apartment. I was suppose to sleep over Carly's tonight but I couldn't be around there right now. Most people would think that a 17 year old girl shouldn't be walking the streets after midnight. They don't know Sam Puckett, I can handle myself.

At least that's what I thought till there was a hand over my mouth and I was being dragged into an alley.

**Freddie's POV**

Ok now I feel like an ass. It's been hours since Sam left the apartment. We've tried calling her at least 20 times, each, and Carly is freaking out. We're in her living room waiting by the door just in case she shows up.

"W-What if something happened to her?" Carly was pacing her room with her phone in her hand and basically talking to herself.

"Carly just calm down I'm pr-

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, NEVER TELL A GIRL TO CALM DOWN!" She yelled.

"Ok I'm sorry like I was saying she's probably home eating her weight in bacon, watching Girly Cow or something. "I tried to lighten the mood and let me tell you something, it didn't work.

"SHE WOULD HAVE CALLED BACK BY NOW!"

"Ok, how about we go to sleep it's...3:26am and if she still hasn't called back or showed up by then we'll look for her." That seemed to calm her down a bit.

She was walking to the stairs when there was a knock at the door. I was going to answer it but was knocked to the ground by an anxious Carly.

"OH MY GOD SAM!" Carly yelled .

I got up off the floor and went to the door to see Sam. Beaten up, her clothes ripped, a tear stained face, and blood running down her leg.

"Oh my god Sam what happened!" I yelled, but she didn't answer me. She stood there, frozen, staring at nothing.

"H-he..

"Sam?" She still wasn't responding.

"Freddie help me get her to the couch."

I helped Carly carry Sam over to the couch and lay her down. She lay there motionless, staring at the ceiling until she curled up with a pillow and cried.

_What the hell happened to her?_

"I-I t-tried b-but he w-wouldn't l-let me." She said between sobs.

"What are you talking about?" Carly sat with Sam on the couch and stroked her hair.

"H-He s-said he would k-kill m-me if I sc-screamed."

"Who?" I asked. I was nervous. I didn't want this to be real. The strongest girl I know is laying here beaten up and crying. Who the fuck did this to her?

"H-He c-came out of n-nowhere, h-he didn't s-stop w-when I t-told him to."

Then it clicked and Carly seemed to get it also.

"Oh my god SPENCER!" Carly had tears in her eyes and looked like she would break down any minute.

"WHAT WHAT'S GOING ON!" He ran out of his room armed with a suck duster. He put the vacuum down when he saw it was just us, but his face turned to concern when he heard crying and saw Carly's face. He walked to where we were and saw Sam on the couch and went into big brother mode.

"What the hell happened to her?" Spencer asked as he sat next to Sam on the couch.

"She came back a few minutes ago like this and we carried her to the couch and she started crying and she started-she s-started saying th-things and- Carly broke into sobs.

"Spencer I-I think she was raped." I felt a sting in my eyes when I said this.

"No she- he looked back down at her sobbing figure on his couch- She couldn't, but NO!"

At this point the tears broke from my eyes and were staining my cheeks. I didn't want to believe it either. I really didn't want to think that this happened to my best friend. I wanted to kill the sick fuck who did this to her.

"Spencer what are we going to do?" Carly asked after she calmed down.

He turned to look at her and looked back at Sam, who was still crying.

"Well we have to take her to the hospital, we-we don't know how hurt she is so-yeah." Carly went to grab the keys off the kitchen counter and Spencer lifted Sam bridal style off the couch. She dug her head into her chest and cried. She looked so small. So broken.

I went to hold the door for Spencer while he carried her into the hall and down the stairs while we followed close behind. We made it to spencer's car and Carly sat in the back with Sam as we drove to the hospital.

My thoughts were racing with all kinds of thoughts as to what I would do to this man if I find out who he is. How could this happen to her? But the one that kept sticking out to me

_I will protect her_

**AN: So I hope you liked chapter 1. This is my first Seddie fanfic so I hope you didn't think it was lame or anything. I just had this idea while I was sleeping at 2am. Why? idk but I had to write it and it would be so cool if you could give me some feedback on it and tell me if it sucked or not so if you can do that it would make me sooo happy(Fred voice). LOL R&R**

**Chapter 2 coming soon to a computer near you :)**


	2. iBe like Carly

chapter 2

**Sam's POV**

_I'm numb_

_I don't feel anything_

_Sadness_

_Anger _

_Fear_

_Nothing_

Why did this have to happen to me. Now is the time where I wish I was Carly the most. I tried. I swear I tried as hard as I could ,but it wasn't good enough.

_I feel so dirty_

No matter what I try I can't get clean. I don't let anyone touch me. I don't touch anyone. I'm too filthy, too disgusting.

I was lying in this hospital bed just staring. I didn't know what I was staring at, I was just..staring.

"Knock knock." I looked to the door and saw Carly and Freddie entering my room. I didn't want to talk to them. Everytime they come here they try to make me talk about that night ,and I can't. Everytime I think about it I feel like I have to throw up.

_flashback_

_I was walking away from Bushwell Plaza fuming mad at that stupid nub. _

_How could he call me a bitch then say I'm jealous of Carly. I am not jealous of Carly. Am I? I was so emerced in my thoughts I didn't hear the footsteps approaching._

_How could that nub not see how I feel about him? I mean I drop hints, I stopped hitting him. Alot. But I guess he's too into Carly to notice me._

_It was dark and the streets were empty except for a few sleeping hobos. I was about 10 minutes away from my house when there was a hand over my face and someone was dragging me into an alley. I struggled against their grip but it only got tighter. I tried to scream but they were muffled by his hand. _

_He pushed me up against a brick wall and leaned his weight against me so I couldn't move. I kicked, I punched, I treid to push him off me put I couldn't move. I felt helpless as tears streamed down my face. He ripped open the front of my shirt and groped me painfully hard making cry out against his palm._

_"Don't fight darlin' it won't hurt too bad." he whispered in my ear. Making me cringe. He unbuttoned my pants and ripped them off my legs. After that I zoned out._

_I heard another zipper and felt hands all over my body. Then I felt pain. Unexplainable pain between my legs. I wanted to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. Hell I would have been happy in juvie if it meant getting out of here. _

_It hurt so fucking much._

_When I came back I noticed that the man was gone and I was alone in this dark alley, and there was only one place I wanted to go right now._

_End of flashback _

"Sam!" I was ripped from my thoughts when I heard my name. I turned my head to see Carly and Freddie sitting next to my bed in some metal chairs.

"Huh what?"

"I said how are you feeling?" Carly said. *sigh* I'm so sick of that fucking question. Everyone asks me that and I;m so fucking sick of it.

"Why don't you try asking something else fro a change." I snapped. Carly looked taken aback and Freddie didn't look suprised at all.

Ugh He looks so hot right now in his black and grey striped polo shirt that fits tight to his body and his black skinny jeans. I hate stripes but I love them on him.

"When do you get out of here?" Freddie asked.

"I don't know, maybe tomorrow." I shrugged. I really want to get out of this fucking place. I feel trapped in a box or something. They haven't let me leave this room since I was brought here last night. Or should I say this morning.

"Are you hungry?" He asked with a smirk already knowing the aswer to that question, but to tell you the truth I wasn't hungry.

"No not really I don't feel like eating." I turned away from them and let the tears fall. I feel so weak. I cry all the time. I'm so sad. I'm just not me anymore and that scares me.

**Later that day *FPOV***

Sam was discharged under Spencer because her mom is California getting a tummy tuck and we couldn't get a hold of her. The ride back to Bushwell was silent to say the least. I just felt something in the pit of my stomach everytime I thought about Sam. I felt angry at myself.

How could I let this happen to her?

How could I let her leave knowing it was too late to be walking the streets?

I'm such an idiot

"Why do you say that?" I heard Carly ask.

"What?"

"You said you were an idiot." Oh shit I said that out loud.

"Nothing just forget it." I looked in the rearview mirror and saw Sam had a distant look in her eyes, like she wasn't in the car with us, and that's when I noticed how beautiful she really is.

Her ocean blue eyes. Her shining blonde hair cascaded down her back like a blanket. Her creamy white skin glowed in the light from the window. She looked like an angel-wait. What?

Did I just say that blonde headed demon looked like an angel?

***SPOV***

The nub's words kept coming back to me.

_Maybe if you were more like Carly_

_It's not my fault your jelouse_

Maybe if I was more like Carly. My life would be so much easier. Maybe if I acted more like her I could forget about what happened. Maybe more people would pay attention to me. Maybe Freddie would love me.

That's it. I'll be like Carly.

We pulled up to Bushwell Plaza and got out of the car, walked into the building and into the elevater to the 8th floor. When we got to Carly's apartment everyone was really quiet and it was freaking me out. Here's my chance, let's Carly it up.

"Hey guys you wanna work on some stuff for iCarly?" I ask in my best Melanie voice. Everyone looked at me like I had 3 heads.

'Uh Sam I don't think this is the right time, don't you want to rest?" Carly asked .

"No, I'm fine. Let's go to the studio and Freddie can do some cool techie thing and we can work on a script and rehearse." Freddie was giving me this weird look like he was expecting something to happen.

"I don't think that's such a good idea considering what happened-

"I'm fine let's go." I interupted Freddie. I really didn't want to think about it. With that said I ran up the stairs to the iCarly studio.

***CPOV***

"Ok something isn't right with her." I said to Spencer and Freddie who were still standing there somewhat shocked.

"Yeah, that was weird." Spencer pointed to the stairs.

"Guys I don't think we should do iCarly this week, she's not ready. I think she's just trying to forget what happened by putting her mind on something else." Freddie said.

I'm really worried about Sam. She doesn't seem like herself, at all.

"Yeah I think your right let's go talk to her." Freddie and I ran up the stairs to the studio to see Sam writing something in a notepad. She saw us and smiled,

"Hey guys, so I got some great ideas for the show. I was thinking we can-

"Sam we're not doing iCarly this week, you nee-

"I'm fine guys, really. Hey Carly would you go shopping with me tomorrow?"

WHAT! She's acting like she wasn't just raped by some stranger. Like the past 12 hours of her life were just erased. She's not even acting the same.

"Are you sure, I mean we can go some other time maybe next week-

"No!" Sam yelled. She looked down and I can see the tear she was hiding. "I wanna go tomorrow." She muttered.

"O-okay we'll go tomorrow, what do you wanna buy?"

"New clothes."

"Why?"

"I just want new clothes ok?"

"Alright."

Oh yeah something is definately wrong.

**AN: Well that wasn't as good as I thought it would be but I posted it anyway. Hope you guys liked this sucky chapter. LOL **

**I promise next chapter will be better :)**


	3. Breathless

chapter 3

***SPOV***

_They don't like Sam._

_They hate Sam_

_Sam hates Sam_

_I have to be Carly not Sam_

_Sam is a waste_

I was getting ready for school, wearing my new clothes. I went shopping with Carly and got a whole new wardrobe filled with frilly skirts and dresses, girly tops, heels and dare I say..panties. I looked in my full length mirror at myself. I look nothing like Sam in my purple mini skirt, black tank top, grey camisole, and black strappy heels. My hair is down and straight and my makeup is natural.

_Sam is gone, Hello Samantha_

***FPOV***

I've been worried about Sam since the incident. She hasn't been acting like herself. She's nicer, more helpful, she doesn't even raid anyone's fridge for ham anymore.

What happened to my meat lovin' best friend?

I was standing at my locker talking to Carly when,

"Hey guys!" Sam says in her abnormally cheery voice. I turn around and almost choke on my one spit.

_Sam looked HOT_

Never really noticed since she always wore baggy penny tees and cargos pants, but now that she's all girly and unSamish you can really see how hot her body is. Her curves are so defined and-Wait!

This is Sam. The meat-lovin', blonde-headed demon that beats you up and insults you everyday. Until recently.

"H-hey Sam, w-what's up?" Smooth Freddie, real smooth.

"Um I'm ok I guess, what about you?"

_When has she ever cared about how I'm doing?_

"I-I'm fine." Dammit Freddie.

"Good, so-" She said but was cut off by the bell.

"Hey I'll talk to you later gotta get to class." She said then walked away.

_When has she ever cared about class? Ok something is seriously wrong._

"Carly do you think something is wrong with Sam, she's been acting weird lately?" I asked Carly on the way to first period together.

"Well yeah Freddie she was just raped a few days ago, but she has been unusually happy lately." We both walked into the room taking our seats. Carly was seated in the front of the room and me behind her.

"I hope they find that guy, I want to personally want to kick his ass." Every time someone brought up the subject, it just brought out all new levels of anger in me. I have never seen Sam so hurt and broken before and it really pissed me off to know that someone could do something so cruel and not even feel sorry about it. It sickens me.

"I know Freddie me too, but remember this guy could beat up Sam, so imagine what he could do to you." And I did just that, and let me tell you it wasn't pretty.

"Yeah your right, but it just makes me so mad that someone could do this to her and walk off like it was nothing, you know?"

"Yeah I know what you mean." Just then the Mr. Howard walked in and thus started the unpleasant class.

***SPOV***

The new me is definitely working. People are totally shocked by my transformation and I actually made friends with the people I hate.

_I feel horrible_

This is totally not me. There are so many people I wanted to punch in the head today, but I can't that's not what Carly would do. I just have to remember that things will get easier. They always do for Carly.

First period just ended and I was walking to my locker when someone started screaming my name. I turned around to see, _Pete?_ What the hell does he want? He ran and stopped in front of me panting and struggling to breathe.

"Hey Pete are you ok?" I asked. He was bent over with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.

"Yeah yeah…I'm…fine." He panted out. After he seemed to obtain a normal breathing pattern he straightened up and just looked at me. We were just standing in the middle of the hallway looking like idiots, staring at each other.

"So, can I help you with something?" I asked starting to get impatient with the whole staring contest.

"Oh, yeah um how are you doing?"

"Good." I answered skeptically. What is wrong with this kid?

"Listen I heard about what happened to you and I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I know we didn't break up on good terms but I still consider you a friend and I wanted to see how you were doing." Pete said sincerely.

My heart instantly dropped into my stomach. How could he know about this? Wait what is he talking about?

"What do you mean?" Please don't say what I think it is, _please _don't say what I think it is.

"I heard you got, you know." He said seeming to be uncomfortable.

"H-How do you k-know about this?" I stuttered. I can't believe he found out. How?

"It was on the 9 o'clock news, we watched it in Johnson's class and that's when we saw it. I hope your ok."

The news? Oh my God everyone knows.

I can't breathe. I'm panicking and I can't breathe. Oh my God I'm gonna die in this hallway. My chest was heaving as I was trying to get oxygen into my lungs so I don't collapse. Pete seemed to noticed since he got a really concerned look on his face.

"Sam? Sam are you ok?" He put his hand on my shoulders.

I can't breathe. I can't even breathe enough to say I can't breathe. I felt pain in my lungs and my head was starting to hurt.

Pete kept calling my name and his voice started to sound faint and distant. I was getting really light-headed and dizzy. I saw some other students stop in the hallway to see what was going on. They looked really concerned, as they should be.

Pete was telling somebody to get the nurse, when my vision started blurring. I felt like I was going to faint, and I really don't want to faint in a skirt. I saw Carly and Freddie push through the crowd to get to me who was now leaning on Pete for support.

"Sam? Sam, Sam can you hear me? Sam?" I heard Carly's frantic cries, but the only thing I noticed was the petrified face of Freddie Benson before everything went black.


	4. chapter 4

chapter 4

***FPOV***

_What the hell just happened?_

She was fine earlier now she just passed out in the middle of the hallway. I saw Pete still holding her and Carly trying to talk to her and get a response.

Nothing

_What the hell happened to her?_

I just looked at her, laying there. She looked so vulnerable like the night _it_ happened. The visions of Sam from that night will forever be engrained in my memory.

The tears, fear, the defeat.

_Where the hell is the nurse?_

All 4 of us Pete, Carly ,and I were all around Sam while we were surrounded by basically the whole student body. I felt suffocated. I looked around and saw all the student watching everything unfold with worrisome glances and some others trying to see what is going on.

I tuned back in to hear Carly still trying to talk to the unconscious Sam.

"Come on Sam you gotta wake up, I'll give you a whole fridge full of ham… please just wake up- Carly said with tears streaming from her eyes- WHERE THE HELL IS THE NURSE!" She angrily shouted into the crowd. Everybody looked at her with wide eyes at her outbreak.

I couldn't blame her. Her best friend is on the floor unconscious from breathing problems and no one has come to help. She could be dying right in front of us. _No don't think like that Freddie._

"SOMEBODY GO GET THE FUCKING NURSE!" I yelled into the crowd to see a few people run in the direction of the nurses office.

A few minutes later the nurse finally came with a few other students following her. We cleared the way for her while she checked on Sam. She motioned for 1 of the students behind her and he came and picked up Sam and took her away to the nurses office with Carly and I following.

_God I hope she's ok._

**Sam's POV**

I woke up with an insane headache laying on a cot in the nurses office.

_Oh my god. What the hell happened?_

Squinting my eyes so the light in the room wouldn't be so blinding, I tried to sit up but felt a hand on my shoulder push me to lay down.

"Don't try to get up yet." The voice said. It sounded familiar but I was so confused I couldn't pin a face to it. Soon his face came into view.

Freddie

He looked so hot when he was worried. Why was he here?

"You scared the shit out of me Puckett, what happened?" He said and sat down in the chair beside the cot. When he said that I felt something flutter in my stomach that I never felt before. At first I thought it was because I ate some bad ham again, but I guess not.

"Sorry and I don't even know. One minute I was talking to Pete about the…news." Then it all came back to me. I passed out in the hallway, because they put my…situation on the news. Looking around the room I saw a small tv mounted on the wall.

"Freddie turn on the tv and put on the news." He looked confused but did as told. The tv came on to the news and there was a picture of me on the screen.

'In other news Samantha Puckett co-host of the famous web show iCarly was attacked and raped last Friday night by a man that is still unknown. We have still yet to get an interview with Samantha herself but we wish her the best of luck in recovery-

The tv cut off and I turned to see Freddie staring at the tv with the remote in his hand.

"H-How did they find out about this?" He said. I shook ,my head feeling tears sting my eyes. I really didn't want the whole country to know about me, but it was too late. Freddie seemed to notice me about to cry because he came and hugged me, good and tight. A choked sob escaped my lips followed by another tears, next thing I know I'm bawling in his arms. Wetting his polo with my tears, and he just holds me tighter, and rocks me.

_This can't get any worse._

I was still in Freddie's arms when Carly and Wendy walked in and stopped when they saw me crying. The reason why I thought they were here made me cry even more. I grabbed on to the back of Freddie's shirt for dear life not wanting him to let me go. It made me feel so pathetic to be crying on this nub with Wendy and Carly watching, but comforting.

"Shhh its alright we'll get through this, I'll kick anybody's ass for you." He whispered with a chuckle. The last part made me chuckle. I liked how when I'm at my lowest he still tries to make me laugh.

"I would like that nub."

After a few more minutes of crying I calmed down and now I'm just sitting here in his arms, my back to his front. I didn't really realize how buff Freddie was until now.

_He's really strong._

"Sam…" Carly's voice broke me out of my thoughts and I open my eyes to see her and Wendy sitting in the chairs next to the cot, just watching me. I felt like I was under a freakin' telescope.

"Yeah?" I said. Ugh! My voice sounds so weak!

"Are you ok? We heard about the whole news thing and what happened in the hallway. We just wanted to make sure you were ok." Wendy said looking between Freddie and I.

_Am I ok?_

"Yeah I'm fine."_ No I'm not._

"Are you sure? I mean you were crying." I tensed up at what she said. I was really starting to get annoyed.

_So now what ,because I'm Sam Puckett, tough bitch I can't cry? Who the hell does she think she is to judge me? I should kick her ass. Stupid Wendy._

"I said I'm fine." I said through gritted teeth, glaring at her. Right now is where I wish I had lasers in my eyes.

Freddie must have sensed my anger because he tightened his arms around me and I instantly calmed.

_What the hell kind of affect does this nub have on me? I don't know but I like it._

I closed my eyes and took in his scent of cinnamon and lemon pledge. I don't how it works but on him it does. It smells clean and refreshing.

_I love that smell, just like I love him._

**AN: Sorry this chapter took so long. School just started and I had some other stuff to do so yeah. **

**I hope you liked this chapter. Sorry if it seems kind of crappy I had some writer's block while writing this so it might have been bad, and for that I apologize.**

**Next chapter will be up soon I promise! ****J**

**You know what's cool? Reviewing! That would be awesome and I'm really looking forward to it.**


	5. AUTHOR'S NOTE

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I'm so sorry I haven't written anything in so long. I'm so busy with school and dance that I hardly have time to write. I'll try to update my stories as soon as possible. I'm already working on the next chapter on "Didn't know I loved you" and hope to be finished pretty soon and I'm working on another Seddie fanfic so if you don't hate me already, when I get it posted check it out. I don't really have a name for it yet but I already have the first chapter almost done so it should be up pretty soon. Thanx so much for reading my other stories and the reviews have been awesome so thanx guys!


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